hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
