Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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