he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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