sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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