The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
