I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
