I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
