Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
