if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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