Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
