i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
