You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
