girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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