ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
