Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
