and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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