we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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