You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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