real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
