my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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