you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
