and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
this will be a night to untag.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize