I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
