one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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