marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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