garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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