I can text with my tongue
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
