Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
