google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
