he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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