It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
