oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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