Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
