So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She announced her abortion via fbk
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
