He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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