never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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