Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
