He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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