i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He shit in the fireplace
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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