Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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