He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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