I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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