I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
