i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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