your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
