there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
