respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
