You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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