erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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