okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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