I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
