My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
