hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
