Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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