she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i think i just lost a toe
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
