Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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