it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
