it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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