it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
