Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
