Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
