yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
