I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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