Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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