Do you still have your period?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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