This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
