you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
