Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i believe in u and ur pee
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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