my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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