This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
