Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
