no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
