This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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