Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
