Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
